Pet Peeves, Solving Pet Problems
My name is Chairman Meow (aka Kitty). I live in a dog-eat-dog world, but I I rule my household with an iron claw. Let me introduce you to the cast of characters.
Number One Rule Offender: Dutchy, (aka Stinky). He looks innocent, but he’s devious behind those ole’ blue eyes. He can get in more trouble in a couple of minutes…just saying.
Number Two Dog: Lucille (aka Lucy-Goosy). She came into the household, over my strong objections, when the son called Mom up and asked if she wanted a starved to death, three-legged pit bull. She said, “Hell no!” but look who takes up the best space on the bed. She’s the jealous type, and wants all of the attention in the room…
Number Three Dog: Maggie (aka Cash). When the family went on vacation, son number one’s girlfriend thought it’d be a good idea to “gift” us with a puppy. We went to Florida to spend time on the sugar sand beaches and when we came back we discovered the puppy that was in a box at the local Kroger. It’d been a week since her owner (aka the woman who’d give puppies away at the Kroger, shame, shame) had been last seen, so Maggie joined the household about seven years ago.
So folks, this is what I have to put up with every day in our household. But, I still reign supreme.
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Cosmo Talks: Beginning a Conversation with a Feathered Friend by Betty Jean Craige
Cosmo: “Time for shower for Betty Jean!”
Betty Jean: “Yes, time for shower for Betty Jean.”
Cosmo: “Cosmo and Betty Jean gonna go to work?”
Betty Jean: “No, Betty Jean gonna go to work. Cosmo gonna stay home with doggies.”
Cosmo: “Cosmo wanna go in a car.”
Betty Jean: “No. Cosmo stay home with doggies.”
Cosmo: “Woo woo woo! That’s doggy bark.”
So goes a typical morning conversation between Cosmo, my 10-year-old female African Grey Parrot, and me.
Cosmo awakens at sunrise happy to start the day and eager to learn what awaits her. She whistles a medley of her favorite tunes: “Heigh-Ho,” “Bridge on the River Kwai” and “Yankee Doodle.” She summons the dogs: “Doggies, come here!” She tells me when it’s time to do something: “Time to go to kitchen.”
She asks where I’m “gonna go.” She asks whether she can go, too: “Cosmo wanna go to work? OK?” And periodically she says, “I love you,” “Cosmo wanna kiss,” or “I wanna cuddle.”
This morning she called me: “Betty Jean, come here! Wanna kiss feathers?”
I bought Cosmo, then 6 months old, from a local pet store in May of 2002, for intellectual reasons. African Greys are considered among the smartest parrots, the most meaningfully talkative, and the most capable of mimicking accurately the human voice. I had always wondered how individuals of other species saw the world, and I figured that a parrot could tell me.
When friends asked why I’d taken a parrot into my dog-centered household, I replied that a parrot seemed easier to understand than a dolphin or a gorilla.
In her first year of life, Cosmo did not speak. But she mimicked all the household sounds: microwave, telephone, smoke alarm, and the squeaks of cabinet doors, as well as the bark of the dogs, the chatter of the squirrels, and the many different chirps and caws of the birds that fed off the deck railing outside her window.
I spoke to her constantly — in simplified English, of course — and gave her lots of cuddling.
One evening, in December of 2002, Cosmo said softly, from atop the cage in my bedroom, “Bird.” I was astonished. She was quiet for a few minutes, and then she said, “Cosmo is a bird.”
I leapt out of my chair, exclaiming, “Cosmo is a good bird! I love you! I wanna kiss!”
She leaned forward for me to kiss her little black beak.
That was just the beginning. By December of 2003, Cosmo had acquired a vocabulary of more than a hundred words, which she employed appropriately. She had learned my name: “B’Jean,” which she soon corrected to “Betty Jean.”
She had told her first joke: “Telephone for bird!” — which made both of us laugh uproariously. She had begun using her vocabulary to make new phrases, such as “shower for Betty Jean room,” by which she meant my bathroom. And she knew the difference between a statement and a question.
Now this adorable 15-ounce, 6-inch tall, gray-and-red-feathered funny parrot and I love each other.
And when she reprimands the dogs in my voice, teases me the way I tease her, or laughs the way I laugh, at the very same things I laugh at, I say she’s a lot like me.
Oh, my.
Has Cosmo taken on my personality from living in my household, or have I taken on hers? Does she think like me, or do I think like her? We certainly sound alike. My friends accuse me of saying “Hello” with Cosmo’s intonation of joyous enthusiasm.
Here is the question I am pondering: Has our proximity to our household pets made us more like each other mentally? Or do birds — and gorillas, dolphins, dogs, cats, squirrels and deer — actually have thoughts, feelings, desires, fears, and expectations similar to our own, whether or not they live with us?
In that case, we have extraordinarily underestimated the intelligence and emotions of all the feathery, furry and hairy animals who populate our planet. And, on the assumption that we humans were the only smart ones around, we have probably mistreated them.
Cosmo has taught me that we humans are not the only smart ones around.
I hope you will send me remarkable stories of animals you know or have observed, so that together we can broaden our understanding of nature and develop greater empathy for creatures unlike ourselves.
Maybe we can learn to think like a bird, or a squirrel, or a deer or a doggy.
Betty Jean Craige is Professor Emeritus of Comparative Literature at the University of Georgia and the author of many books, including “Conversations with Cosmo: At Home with an African Grey Parrot” (2010). Cosmo’s website address is www.cosmotalks.com.
This is the first of weekly conversations about Cosmo by Dr. Betty Jean Craig. These “talks” were originally published in the Athens Banner Herald on Dec. 17, 2011 and are reprinted here with permission.
Weird Treats Your Pets Like
Dutchy, the Siberian Husky at home, loves unusual treats. Little bits of bananas are a favorite, but last night he surprised me by going gaga over baby carrots. Chewy fun for Dutch. What are some of the weird treats that your dogs or cats really go crazy over that have you scratching your head?
Pet Blogger Hop Today!
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Do You Know What You’re Feeding Your Pets?
Recent veterinary research has shown that almost 50 percent of cats and dogs eventually develop some form of cancer, often leading to death. There is a growing movement in the pet food industry to take a hard look at what we’re feeding our beloved animals.
In Kennesaw (GA) we have the local pet store called The Good Dog Company, which specializes in all natural and organic pet goods.
Regina, owner of The Good Dog Company, became convinced of the importance of proper nutrition after her cat died. “His death really made me look hard at what I was feeding my cats. I thought I was doing the right thing by feeding him expensive food, but discovered what is actually being put into pet foods these days.”
The list of illnesses from feeding your cat or dog a low-quality pet food can go on and on:
Skin allergies
Chronic gas
Hot spots
Skin and ear infections
Food allergies
Kidney damage
Tumors and cancer (from certain preservatives)
Liver disease
Much like our own diets, pets need a low carbohydrate diet. But many of the commercially available pet foods load up the dog or cat food with carbs to encourage greater quantities to be eaten. This has also contributed to the growing pet obesity problems in America. Many of the soft varieties of dog or cat foods are loaded with sugar, often from the addition of corn syrup.
As we take a tougher look at our own diets at the beginning of the year, why not look at what is being added to your pet’s food that might not be healthy. Also there is a growing movement in the pet community of feeding our pets raw foods. If you haven’t heard about this yet and want to learn more, The Good Dog Company will be hosting a Raw Food event in January. Call 770-919-0333 for more details and to register. You and your pet will be glad you invested a little bit of time which will reap great benefits. And, might even lower your vet bills!
Call The Good Dog Company at 770-919-0333 and ask for Regina!
The Good Dog Company is located at 4200 Wade Green Rd. Suite #5, Kennesaw, GA, 30144 in the Wade Green Shopping Center (with Big Lots & LA Fitness) between I-75 and Wooten Lake Rd.
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